Interview with a Funeral Director
by Vicki Barlow & Richard Parson
• Published 27/02/2023
For most people, speaking with a funeral director is something that only happens when you need them. Understanding what the funeral profession is about, and recognising that funeral directors are human too, can have a really positive impact on how you feel when you do need to engage one. This is why we invited funeral directors to feature in our blog; helping to break the taboo surrounding death, dying and the role of a funeral director.
We invited experienced funeral director Richard Parson to answer a few questions about his experiences. He is uniquely placed to talk about the profession, having been born in a funeral home!
Probably uniquely, I was born in a funeral home at Salisbury Road, Plymouth. My father and Grandparents ran the funeral business which had already been a family business for 100 years at that point and from day one, we were brought up with dead people in the house, the threat of the phone ringing at any time day or night, coffins stacked up in readiness beside piles of sawdust, floral tributes in the hallway and magnificent black cars, polished and gleaming in the garage.
Richard Parson | Westcountry Funeral Service
My contact with the funeral business began on the day I was born, so I grew up in the thick of it.
I first began my official employment in the profession in 1987 when I moved to London to learn with a big corporate company and to take my professional association exams. Since then, I have been continually employed in the profession. Initially for 12 months doing my basic training, then for 25 years with my father.
I spent 10 years working with Co-op Funeralcare where I rose to the position of Business Excellence Manager, with responsibility for the Care of the Deceased across the whole Co-op business.
Nowadays, after over 35 years in the profession, and highly qualified with both the National Association of Funeral Directors and the British Institute of Embalmers, I own my own business, Westcountry Funeral Service, and have funeral homes in Plymouth and Saltash.
My father said to me, when I first asked about working for him, “It’s not all about wearing a nice suit and driving a nice car you know” and I think that is how some people think about Funeral Directors. I have to say, my father was right, that is not what it is all about. It’s about the 24-hour on-call cover, washing and polishing cars, fitting and lining coffins, caring for the deceased, working long hours and dedicating your life to helping, most of which, are activities where wearing a smart suit would be a hinderance.
The heartfelt thank-you that we get from our clients.
No, I don’t, but that doesn’t matter. I know how much I put in to performing my role and I am proud of myself and very grateful to my wife for her support.
Yes, very.
Yes, we find it hard to be serious sometimes, but there are lots of initiatives that I applaud for reminding us to have those conversations. More people are planning their own funerals now, so we must at least be thinking about it.
Having been in hundreds of funeral homes and worked for both corporate and private, I would say that notwithstanding building constraints, they are all very similar these days.
Yes, through the National Association of Funeral Directors and the British Institute of Embalmers continued Professional Development.
Burial or cremation? Who will be the Officiant or Celebrant? What music, readings, photos are to be included in the service?
It can depend, but usually the initial meeting could be an hour or more and then subsequent meetings probably a bit shorter. A good Funeral Director is in almost daily contact and details are often finalised in the days leading up to the service.
Not in a formal way, but friendships are made and contact can be for years.
Yes, depending on their circumstances.
Thank you Richard for sharing your world with us.
You can find out more about Richard and his funeral homes in the south west
here. Check them out of Facebook
here.
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previous blogs here.
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