Funeral Etiquette: Understanding Traditions and Customs
by Laura Clipson
• Published 15/06/2023
Funerals and the etiquette involved vary significantly depending on the culture, religion and individual preferences of the person who passed away and their loved ones. However, many cultures follow similar guidelines when it comes to funeral etiquette.
Here are some key points to consider:
Traditionally, people wear smart black or dark clothing at funerals. However, it is becoming more and more common for the family to request that people wear a splash of colour, or perhaps the deceased’s favourite colour, or even football shirts if they were a fan. If the family hasn't requested anything specifically, it’s best to stick with the traditional black.
Give yourself plenty of time to get to the funeral. This will allow you to get your bearings once you get there, as well as showing respect for the deceased and their family. The last thing you want to do is burst in halfway through the service.
Express your sympathy to grieving family members and friends of the deceased. Simply saying “I’m sorry for your loss” is fine, and lets them know you’re thinking of them and the loss of their loved one.
A funeral service will be different depending on any religious or cultural beliefs of the person who has passed away or their family. It is important that you respect these beliefs and traditions, no matter what your own feelings towards them are. If you don’t quite understand, or are unsure, ask someone.
Funerals are typically sombre occasions, so it is important to behave appropriately. Turn off your mobile phone during the service to avoid any rude interruptions, and keep your voice at a respectable volume when speaking. Follow the lead of the family here; some funerals now aim to be more cheerful occasions, a celebration of life rather than a mourning of a passing, so the atmosphere may be more relaxed, with joking and laughter.
It is typical to pay your respects to the person who has passed away at their funeral. This can involve placing a flower on the casket at the end of the service, offering a prayer, or simply a moment of silence to reflect on memories shared.
If the family has provided specific instructions, make sure to follow these. I’ve mentioned above about following clothing requests, but families may also have specific wishes regarding who can send flowers, or a request for donations to an important charity instead.
Loved ones of the person who passed away will receive the most support in the days following the passing, and the funeral. Sending a sympathy note following the funeral lets them know you are still thinking of them and are there for them if needed.
The most important thing to take away from this is to respect the wishes of the deceased and their loved ones, and ensure to follow any guidelines set by them.
Thank you for reading.
Before you go, why not take a look at one of our previous funeral articles:
Do funerals have to be sad occasions?
Who can conduct a funeral service?
