Father's Day & Mental Health

Father’s Day is a joyous occasion for many; a time when a family can show the father figures in their life how important they are to them, often through a card, a present or some other appreciative gesture. However, for some people it is not such an easy day to get through, and if this applies to you then we want to let you know that you are not alone.

I became a father for the first time just over 3 years ago, and I really struggled with the whole concept of what it means to be a dad; what is expected of me? Why don’t I feel the way I’m supposed to? How am I supposed to bond with this brand new tiny person when they just eat, sleep and cry?

Because of all these negative thoughts swirling around in my head, when Father’s Day came about I felt like a bit of a fraud. Why were people celebrating my ability to raise a child when I myself don’t even feel like I am doing an adequate job, never mind a good one? Those first two Father’s Days were not particularly easy for me, as it just felt like a day to spotlight my weaknesses, and I didn't want anybody to look too closely for fear of someone finding out that I was actually the charlatan that I believed myself to be.

I now know that I will not be the only person to feel like this, but at the time that was hard for me to realise, and that’s why I wanted to share a bit of my story. When I was at my lowest, if I would have had people telling me that they had also had similar thoughts and feelings, then maybe it would have helped me to feel less alone.

It has not been an easy journey, but with the help of my incredible family, some honest conversations with a therapist, and a lot of time, I think I have finally come to accept my role as a father and what that actually means. Now Father’s Day can be a time to celebrate the amazing relationship I have with my son, as well as a time to celebrate the fact that I came through those difficult times in one piece.