I remember going to a funeral for one of my grandparents when I was a child. I was sitting in a pew at the church with my brother and sister, and I remember trying desperately to hold my laughter in. I don’t remember what I was laughing at; probably something one of my siblings had done. I just remember feeling like I couldn’t let anyone know I was laughing because I was at a funeral and it was wrong to laugh at funerals.
Fast forward 20 years to 2021, when I went to the funeral of one of my friends who had sadly passed away. They played a light-hearted video montage of him, his loved ones read humorous eulogies and I found myself laughing through my tears. I’d been dreading the funeral, but it really was more of a celebration of his life, and when I look back on it I remember these moments more than the overall sadness of the day.
This leads on to our blog topic today; do funerals have to be sad occasions?
The traditional funeral is generally thought of to be a serious occasion. Black is commonly worn in mourning for the person who has passed away, and people feel that smiling, laughing, or appearing happy in any way can seem disrespectful to both the deceased and their grieving family.
However, a lot of modern funerals are focusing more on celebrating the life of the deceased, rather than mourning their loss. Family and friends are encouraged to share happy memories of their loved one and reflect on the way they lived, rather than dwelling on the fact that they’re gone.
Some people choose to ask funeral goers to wear bright colours, often the deceased’s favourite colour, instead of the standard black. Also a growing trend is the themed funeral, with the chosen theme being something the person who has passed away was passionate about. The funeral could be based on their favourite movie, a hobby they loved, a place they loved to visit, or even their favourite seasonal holiday.
While it may not be entirely possible to have “fun” in the sense of having a good time at a funeral for a loved one who has passed away, that doesn’t necessarily mean funerals cannot be light hearted, humorous occasions that can be looked back on fondly despite the inherent sadness of them.
At the end of the day, it depends on the circumstances surrounding the bereavement. Some people may feel more comfortable with a traditional funeral, while others might prefer a more lighthearted one. It all comes down to the deceased and their family’s wishes.
Thank you for reading.
