Coping with Grief on Mother's Day

Signs of Mother’s Day are everywhere at this time of year, with businesses advertising gifts and cards, friends planning what they’re going to do for their mum or wondering what their kids might do for them. It can be a difficult time of year for those who have lost their mothers, grandmothers or children. It’s much harder to deal with your grief quietly in your own way, like you could for the anniversary of their death or their birthday.

So how can you deal with Mother’s Day when you’re grieving?

Let yourself feel
You may feel a range of emotions when grieving on Mother’s Day, from sadness to jealousy and anger. This is completely normal, and you should not be ashamed of feeling these things, or shy away from them. Try to work through them, rather than bottling them up.

Reminisce
If you’re able to, try to talk about your mum. Share memories with siblings or other family members or friends who knew her, or even tell someone all about her who didn’t know her. Focus on the happy memories, rather than any regret you might feel.

Honour her memory
Do something that will help you feel closer to her, like going to her favourite place, making her favourite meal, or doing something she used to like. You could also light a candle in her memory, or visit her grave.

Practice self care
Instead of doing something specific for Mother’s Day, use the day to take care of yourself. Have a bath, go for a walk, read a book, watch your favourite series. Anything that will help to take your mind off your grief.

Ignore the day
There’s no rule that says you have to even acknowledge Mother’s Day if you don’t want to. It’s absolutely fine to just treat it like any other day. If you don’t want to do anything, then don’t. Stay off social media to avoid seeing others’ celebrations, and spend the day however you wish.

Grief on Mother's Day can be much harder to deal with, as you have to worry about the run up to the day as well as the day itself. Try to plan what you’re going to do in advance, and stay off social media if necessary. It can be difficult to avoid Mother’s Day advertising, but many businesses now allow their customers to opt out of Mother’s Day emails and marketing.

Thank you for reading.