In Memoriam for James (Horn Mole) COLLINGBOURNE

Happy Heavenly Birthday my darling boy 💕. Another year without your smiling face which I miss more than any words can convey. I hope you know that although I do my best to continue on, I will never forget you or stop loving and missing you. I replay various times over and over in my mind, but they are so limited as we didn't have enough time by far. I wonder what you would be doing now, what job, a wife, children 🤔 so many memories snatched from us, life has been very very cruel 💔. Most of our little family that was has joined you now, Bonnie, Grandad, Mark, Grandma T and so many other family and friends we had. I hope that you can somehow know that you're never forgotten, not just by me and Alex, but by anyone who knew you. You left an impression on everyone you came in contact with .. you're smile, laughter, kindness and fair play will always be remembered. You sere so loved and I am so privileged to call you My Son. Until we meet again 💞 xxx

Hi sweetheart, just sat here thinking of you as I often do, wishing we could have a chat and ☕️ and mill over recent events and put the world to rights 😢.
Theres been happy and sad times. Firstly the happy, Alex and Jon are expecting.... blessing #3 at Easter time next year 🐣. I'm excited to visit them in Saudi and spend time with family. You'd be so very proud of her James, your little chick grown up to be a beautiful, intelligent and successful women. She's so kind and thoughtful and just lovely inside and out! She has a lovely little family with her soulmate Jon, and children Albus & Aletheia.... I just adore them all 💕 . Even though you're not here we all still talk about you and remember you as very much still part of our family ❤️ Spence is getting on well with his sports, especially rugby and is also turning into a lovely young man. Very much like you and Alex in so many ways, he fills my aching heart with joy. No doubt you already know about our recent sadness in that we have had to say goodbye to our beautiful fur family Jay Jay & Pepper....your and Alex's namesakes 😀
So devastating and heartbreaking 💔 they were loved so much for over 16yrs and such loyal companions to me, especially JayJay who was my little loveable shadow ...another loss scarring my battered old heart James, but I hope and pray that they were greeted with your infectious smile as they crossed over the rainbow bridge. I know Bonnie would have been there too as she loved them both. Jay Jay watched over her daily when she was poorly and will be pleased to see her well again 🙏.
Amidst this journey of life though, I feel very blessed in so many ways. I have, and have had a wonderful family and feel grateful for that.
Until we meet again I'll continue to have our little chats and updates. Love you always James, Mum 💖xxx

Happy Heavenly Birthday James, my lovely Son who will be forever young.
I carry you in my heart and memories every day, re-living memories and happy times in my head from those happier years gone by.....sometimes they bring only smiles, sometimes they bring tears, but they always bring gratitude that I was blessed to be your Mum. I am so grateful to have had you in my life for the time we had together...happy times that I will never know in the same way ever again in this lifetime. You were the apple of my eye and I wish more than anything you were here for me to spoil today, on your special day.....but I know you won't be alone and that Bonnie will be doing that honour for me this year 💙
Love you my beautiful boy, now and for always
Mum xxx

Miss you always, Love you always, Think of you every day....always 💙
Hope you are happy and free, but wish you were still here!
Until we meet again my heart will remain broken 💔
All my love
Mum xxx

Well, 2024...yet another year has rolled past in the blink of an eye! I wish I could tell you that life was good and that I have found happiness, but you will already know that isn't true 😞
I get days that are better than yesterday, but have not known days I remember from many many years ago for so long. I wish I had appreciated those days at the time, but of course, we take them for granted don't we? We don't know what we don't know, and I didn't know what true devastation and loss was 😢.......I miss you ever so much, even our tiffs and disagreements. I miss the way you could boost my morale and lighten the spirit of every occasion.
Part of my heart shut and sealed the day you were taken, and the heavy weight left behind is sometimes overwhelming and almost impossible to bare. It hurts...but somehow it's still beating and I'm still here...
I don't even know myself anymore and the person I was has gone...a different person remains and its someone I don't feel is me, but she is what is left and so I have to accept her. She's not funny and optimistic and she doesn't laugh much or take life lightly or look on the bright side. She is here, treading water and trying to make a difference to enable Alex & Spencer to have the best life possible, its now about them. That is my purpose now, until they both are able to fly high with their dreams, aspirations and successes. Then it will be time for me to join you & Bonnie and protect them from beyond...
I hope.
I love you James and always will 💞
Fly high sweetheart, Fly free 🕊xxx